Mama Said: Back to School
Today is my daughter’s first day of Pre-K. I’ll admit it, I always get a little emotional on the first day and this year was no different. This year Rosie is a big-kid. Expected to learn big-kid things like reading and writing. But she is still my baby. And I’m always reminded of her very first day of “school” when she was 20 months old.
It was a muggy Georgia August morning. I don’t think I’d slept a wink the night before. I got her dressed in her little apple and gingham first-day-of-school outfit and tried to take the obligatory photos. I was pouring sweat and a ball of nerves. She was crying. I was crying.
Her father and I walk her into her new school, with her new friends and her new teachers, and plop her down in an environment she’d never known before. She started crying again. As I tried to walk away, the teacher was going over the ABCs. Sneaking out of the room, I said, “Rosie, tell ‘em how you know your ABCs.” And Rosie started: “Aaaaaaaa-Bbbbbbbbbb-Ccccccccc-Dddddddd.” Taking huge sobs between each letter.
I think I cried the whole way home. I know I was crying when my 98 year-old-grandfather called and began to get on to me about something I had or hadn’t done for work (he was my boss after all). And he paused and said, “why are you crying,” in his business tone.
I told him how I had just dropped Rosie off for her first day of school and I was a wreck. He said, “oh quit crying. My mama never cried when she dropped me off at school.” And in an unusually defiant tone, I said, “Oh yes I bet she did!! You just didn’t know it.” That caused him to pause and reflect on his own Mama, whom he loved dearly.
He let me off the hook that day for whatever it is I had or hadn’t done for work and let me be a mama.
Today was a muggy Georgia August morning. I didn’t sleep last night. I’m pouring sweat and a ball of nerves. I got the obligatory first-day photo, but this time Rosie was smiling. Excited for her first day. And me? Well, if you see me in the carpool lane sobbing, just keep on driving. I’ll be fine.